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  • Writer's pictureMJ Rodriguez

16 ways to dishonor your loved ones

Updated: Jan 13, 2022

A few years ago I read a book by Gary Smalley called Love is a Decision. One of the best books I’ve ever read. I have made a list of things we often do in our homes to dishonor one another, and many of these came from that book. Some I added.  It’s been a long time, and I don’t remember which are mine and which are Smalley’s, but this list has helped me and others to improve our relationships in our homes. I want to share the list with you.

Dishonoring Acts in the Home

  1. Ignoring or degrading another person’s opinions, advice, or beliefs

  2. Burying oneself in the television or newspaper when another person is trying to communicate with us

  3. Creating jokes about another person’s weak areas or shortcomings

  4. Making regular verbal attacks on loved ones—criticizing harshly, being judgmental, and delivering uncaring lectures

  5. Refusing to respond or habitually being silent when another person is speaking to us

  6. Making major decisions without the input of a partner and/or against the will of a partner

  7. Undeserved accusations, suspicions, or distrust

  8. Treating in-laws or other relatives as unimportant in one’s planning and communication

  9. Calling a parent or spouse degrading names such as “the old man” or “the old lady” Degrading marriage with such terms as “ball and chain” or “prison” or with jokes about marriage

  10. Degrading terms/remarks concerning the children: “Brats” or “My children are driving me crazy” Ignoring or simply not expressing appreciation for kind deeds done for us

  11. Distasteful habits that are practiced in front of the family—even after we are asked to stop

  12. Overcommitting ourselves to other projects or people so that everything outside the home seems more important than those inside the home

  13. Power struggles that leave one person feeling that he or she is a child or is being harshly dominated

  14. An unwillingness to admit that we are wrong or to ask forgiveness

  15. Breaking commitments/not keeping your word

  16. Breaking a trust

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