A few years ago I read a book by Gary Smalley called Love is a Decision. One of the best books I’ve ever read. I have made a list of things we often do in our homes to dishonor one another, and many of these came from that book. Some I added. It’s been a long time, and I don’t remember which are mine and which are Smalley’s, but this list has helped me and others to improve our relationships in our homes. I want to share the list with you.
Dishonoring Acts in the Home
Ignoring or degrading another person’s opinions, advice, or beliefs
Burying oneself in the television or newspaper when another person is trying to communicate with us
Creating jokes about another person’s weak areas or shortcomings
Making regular verbal attacks on loved ones—criticizing harshly, being judgmental, and delivering uncaring lectures
Refusing to respond or habitually being silent when another person is speaking to us
Making major decisions without the input of a partner and/or against the will of a partner
Undeserved accusations, suspicions, or distrust
Treating in-laws or other relatives as unimportant in one’s planning and communication
Calling a parent or spouse degrading names such as “the old man” or “the old lady” Degrading marriage with such terms as “ball and chain” or “prison” or with jokes about marriage
Degrading terms/remarks concerning the children: “Brats” or “My children are driving me crazy” Ignoring or simply not expressing appreciation for kind deeds done for us
Distasteful habits that are practiced in front of the family—even after we are asked to stop
Overcommitting ourselves to other projects or people so that everything outside the home seems more important than those inside the home
Power struggles that leave one person feeling that he or she is a child or is being harshly dominated
An unwillingness to admit that we are wrong or to ask forgiveness
Breaking commitments/not keeping your word
Breaking a trust
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